Stories
A Survivor’s Journey
Without adequate support, TBI can have far-reaching impact on a survivor’s life. Swipe or click through the story below to take a closer look at one woman’s experience from the initial abuse incident through to her stay and exit from a shelter. It becomes clear how a lack of awareness of her brain injury impacts her experience.
The People
Katrina, survivor
Katrina is a 36 year-old self-identified female who lives with her partner of 15 years, John. They have a 9 year-old daughter, Samantha.
Katrina is doing her best to balance domestic responsibilities, unstable employment and childcare costs. Her money is controlled by John and she has no benefits. Originally from Eastern Europe, Katrina has very little family support as most of them still live in abroad and she cannot afford to bring them to Canada.
Katrina experiences daily domestic abuse (physical and emotional) and harassment such as extreme texting.
John, Katrina’s partner
John is a 42 year-old male. He has been married twice, and has a child from a previous marriage. He is Canadian.
John works in construction but has unstable employment. He keeps all their financial assets in his name. He drinks 3-4 nights per week and has a short temper, is controlling and violent towards his Katrina.
Nicole, frontline worker
Nicole is a 40 year-old front-line worker at a women’s shelter. She is married and has a young child.
Nicole has been working in the shelter system for close to 20 years. She finds her job satisfying and is committed to her work, but is often overwhelmed by the workload and lack of resources which requires her to wear many hats. She has days of feeling jaded and is aware she can sometimes come off as abrupt and “transactional.”
It is hard for her to find time to learn new skills and integrate them into her daily practice, but it is a prority for her to make a difference in the lives of women she serves.
The dynamic at the shelter shifts a lot – sometimes the women are very supportive of one another, other times it is quite volatile and requires a lot of de-escalating incidents.
The Abuse Incident
Scenario
Katrina is thrown across the room and John bangs her head against the wall 3 times. She tries to defend herself. She is dizzy, but not unconscious. She has a bump on the right side of her head.
Actions
Katrina’s daughter witnesses the abuse and calls 911. The police arrive and escort her and her daughter and John to the station.
Feelings
Katrina is worried they will take her daughter away. She is feeling fear, and extreme emotional and physical pain.
“It’ll never happen again, I promise.”
“If you just hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t have set me off!”
Survivor’s Recognition
Scenario
Katrina recognizes that her life is in danger. John has also threatened to hurt their daughter.
Actions
Katrina has decided not to return to the relationship unless the abuse stops even though she has very little friend or family support. Katrina has become estranged from her close friends, and her family is overseas.
Feelings
Katrina is feeling scared and unsafe, she has to get out before he returns home.
“He is threatening to kill me.”
“I’ve got to get out. I fear for my life & Samantha’s.”
Before Arrival at a Shelter
Scenario
Katrina doesn’t have her own money or safe housing and needs to find a place for her and her daughter Samantha to sleep asap. The most dangerous time for her is the first 6-12 months after she decides to leave because he is trying to find her in a state of heightened anger and obsession.
Actions
Cops call the shelter from their phone and pass it to Katrina. She talks to an intake worker at Women’s Habitat.
Feelings
Katrina is feeling scared, unsafe, alone.
“I need to find a bed and safe place for Samantha and I immediately!”
A restraining order is activated against John. He is held overnight at the station. He is scared, and desperate to take everything back.
Arrival at a Shelter
Scenario
It’s Katrina’s first time at a shelter. The police escort her and Samantha there. Katrina wants to feel safe, respected and a sense of dignity.
Actions
Katrina turns off the location on her phone and attempts to change her phone number.
Feelings
Katrina is feeling paranoid and afraid that he will find her. She isn’t thinking about her long-term plans yet, she is too exhausted. She hasn’t slept well for years.
“I feel judged.”
“I want professional care and information asap.”
John is released after 24 hours and tries to reach Katrina but she has blocked his number. He is calling all of her friends and family, tries her work number. He is angry, obsessed with finding her and knowing where she plans to take Samantha.
She tries her best to be empathetic and respectful to survivors and sensitive to their queues.
“I don’t want to overwhelm our clients with too many questions right away, so I do a lot of listening and observing.”
Week One at the Shelter
Scenario
Upon arrival at the shelter, Katrina needs professionalism, knowledge and information from FLWs. She isn’t looking for a friend or therapy yet.
At this point, Katrina needs help navigating the system – what her options are, where to go next.
Actions
Katrina is completing the intake assessment with the shelter staff over the course of the week, as she feels ready. She is recovering physically, resting and sleeping a lot.
Feelings
Katrina is feeling physical and emotional pain, and difficulty with trust. Her head injury is bothering her.
“I can breathe & sleep again.”
John’s restraining order is still in effect. The judge orders him to attend a program, but while there, he commiserates with other men in similar situations.
During the first week Katrina is at the shelter, Nicole must complete a series of forms and intake procedures with her.
1. Intake form One of the first touchpoints with survivors, where the top priority is their safety. It can take several days to complete depending on the state of the survivor.
2. Safety plan Created to ensure that the shelter has survivors’ emergency contacts and other details and/or documents
3. History of abuse form
4. Crisis Management
Staying at the Shelter
Scenario
Sometimes Katrina has impulsive behavior as a side effect of her condition, which is incorrectly assumed to be her choice.
Actions
Katrina is learning what her options are after she leaves the shelter, how to navigate the system (e.g., housing benefits, child tax credits).
Feelings
Katrina is getting really tired of the shelter. It’s inflexible, she can’t keep her normal schedule and routine. Her whole life has been disrupted. Going back home or finding a new place is starting to look appealing.
“How long will I be here? I feel safe, but it’s not my home. This place is chaotic & overwhelming.”
John has no contact with Katrina, but he is obsessed with finding her.
He is promising to change, is telling her family this, hoping they will tell Katrina.
“If I can’t have you, no one else can.”
Nicole doesn’t feel qualified to be diagnosing or screening. She calls it “dancing with the patient” – using her judgment to decide whether or not to educate her patients on their condition (where she suspects TBI) or suggest a screening.
Needs to maintain control, and shelter guidelines make it easier for her to do so (e.g., health and safety guidelines)
Exiting the Shelter
Scenario
Katrina is ready to leave the shelter for more permanent housing.
Actions
Katrina is setting up her new life: packing, logistics of moving, setting up a bank account, counselling sessions, new school
for Samantha, job interviews, medical appointments, reconnecting with old friends.
Feelings
Katrina is anxious about her new life outside the shelter, wants to make sure she is still safe, but looking forward to a new start.
He is trying to get custody (using finances and kids to control her) and uses her confusion and loss of memory against her to discredit her.
He is not physically with her but still has a hold on her life. He is insidious, like a virus.
Nicole tries to ensure that all the community and transition supports are available and ready for survivor.